Relationships are not a race, but a valuable process in which partners act as ‘us’. Specialist Psychologist Selin Karabulut, who stated that it is important to manage this process in the healthiest way, said, “In order to keep the relationship healthy, couples should respect each other’s differences, not compete and compromise in the common future.” Specialist Psychologist Selin Karabulut made 6 suggestions for a healthy relationship.
In a healthy relationship, both parties are happy and peaceful, and needs such as love, being loved, supported, appreciated, social and sexual needs. Specialist Psychologist Selin Karabulut from Anadolu Health Center said that there is a relationship where they are welcomed and they can be “us” without losing their own identity. Even if there are disagreements, since such a relationship is built on the foundations of love and respect, the ability of the parties to cope with existing problems more easily develops. Karabulut listed his suggestions for healthy relationships as follows:
1- Respect your differences
We are all different and rich with our differences. Moving forward in a relationship by accepting this from the beginning, giving space to our differences both strengthens the relationship and makes it last long.
2- Do not enter the race
Do not listen to statements such as “women at home, men outside”. Every relationship is unique and of course, who is dominant where and who is dominant may not necessarily be dominant. But the wrong thing is to turn it into a race. The relationship should never turn into a race and war. The important thing is to reach a common point and reach a compromise at the end of the day. Remember, relationship is a process to be enjoyed.
3- Observe expectations
The basic expectations of both parties in a relationship are the same; love and respect. It would not be right to think that “women want love more, men want respect”. Everyone has the same expectations. Conflicts begin when these expectations are not adequately met.
4- Reconcile on your common future
In a healthy relationship, there should be a shared future. It could be one year from now or 30 years from now. For example, having a child should be in the common future of both parties, that is, if this is the common expectations and aspirations of the people. At this point, couples should not act with the pressures of “we want grandchildren” from families.
5- Do not ignore sexual happiness
One of the indicators of a good relationship is a good sex life. Because the emotional problems we experience also affect our sexuality and this is reflected in the relationship. We hear a lot of clichés such as “sexual life ends or decreases when you get married”. It is important to listen to our own needs instead of approaching with these presuppositions. Of course, priorities that can change over time may not bring sexuality to the fore. The important thing is whether the couples are happy with this situation and if there is a problem, they focus on solving it.
6- Create opportunities
The best way to keep love alive is to create opportunities for ourselves. We need to create opportunities to take time for ourselves, express our love, and keep the feelings of the other person alive. Remember that love is not a known, but felt emotion.