Everyone may have been influenced by their close friend at some point in their life, even falling in love… At the end of those days, when you didn’t know how to act or what to say, you either gave up by saying “don’t ruin our friendship” or you couldn’t control your heart and expressed your feelings by saying “you are the love of my life”. The problem of friendship between men and women, which most of us encounter in some way, was explained at length in the movie “When Harry Met Sally” in 1989. The question from the beginning to the end of this iconic movie, which recently celebrated its 30th anniversary: ​​“Can men and women really just be friends?”

Psychologists have finally answered this question (although it is 30 years late) that we see a lot in the stories of screenwriter Nora Ephron! While psychotherapist Dana Dorfman says that a man and a woman can be friends, one party may consider taking the relationship to the next level. “I don’t think it’s possible for at least one side to have this thought crossed their minds. Part of friendship is emotionally affected by the other person. Whether it turns into a relationship is another story, but it’s very difficult for people to keep this thought in mind,” says Dorfman’s theory, even if you don’t find your friend attractive, you may have a relationship question in mind. Even if you give up on this idea for various reasons, something more than friendship is something that is generally considered…

Behavioral expert and author Wendy L. Patrick, on the other hand, takes a different view. “Men and women can certainly just be friends,” Patrick argues. “Friendship is based on mutual respect and trust, not romantic attraction.” Stating that friendship can turn into more of an emotion, however, if both parties are single, Patrick says, “A romantic union born from friendship is based on much healthier foundations.”

Stating that one-sided feelings are often the hardest part, Patrick adds, “If one party seeks more than friendship but the other doesn’t, the idea of ​​a relationship should be approached with caution.” “Immediate decisions can confuse and annoy your friend, or even make him prejudiced against a romantic relationship. Think carefully about this before expressing your feelings. Take a look at the situation from afar by getting objective comments from your trusted friends or family.”

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Another view comes from clinical psychologist Jennifer Silvershein. Saying that women and men can be friends, Silvershein adds that external factors and social pressure push the parties to a ‘romantic’ relationship question. Silvershein states that you may have romantic feelings towards the people closest to you, especially if you have just experienced a breakup or are feeling lonely, and says that it is difficult to understand your true feelings. If you want to take your friendship one step further, be honest but also be careful in the way you express your feelings! “Actually, it’s all about being sincere, but you don’t want to put yourself in the situation of losing someone very dear to you. Take it slow, think twice before making your decisions because forgetting the past is pretty hard. Yet many well-known relationships are born out of friendships.” If you don’t know what to do despite all these opinions, ask Harry and Sally! It’s like they’ve solved the mystery…

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