When you have that sudden physical attraction to someone, it’s a sign of sexual chemistry. Your palms are sweaty and you are short of breath, you are attracted to someone quickly and intensely… Sexual chemistry is often evident at the beginning of a relationship and is an important component of many relationships.
Chemistry sometimes reflects a deeper connection. But how can you distinguish between sexual chemistry and what a possible deep and intimate bond implies more?
For those wondering about all the details of sexual chemistry, read on.
Lust and Attraction
Lust is the desire for sexual satisfaction. The hypothalamus of the brain affects the production of the hormones testosterone and estrogen. This activates our feelings of sexual desire.
When we are attracted to someone, our brain releases high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine. Dopamine and norepinephrine make us stunned, energetic and exuberant, sometimes resulting in loss of appetite and inability to sleep.
We all know friends or family members who say they can’t eat, sleep or concentrate after meeting someone special. They say they have butterflies in their stomachs. They are very excited about the new relationship they claim to be in love with. But most of the time, it’s actually physical chemistry that speaks.
The magnetism of intense sexual chemistry can lead to good and short-term relationships. Relationships based on physical pleasure can work well as long as both parties are aware of what the time they spend together really is.
The Positive Side of Sexual Chemistry
When sexual chemistry leads to sex, it has many benefits. Physically, not only is sex a form of exercise that improves your health, it boosts your immune function, you get positive cardiac effects, and it even reduces the perception of migraine headaches.
The psychological benefits of having sex stemming from sexual chemistry are also multifaceted. A few of the proven benefits include relief from stress, greater happiness and improved sleep quality.
Therefore, when sexual attraction leads to a sexual relationship, there are many positive things that come from it.
The Dangerous Side of Sexual Chemistry
When some couples are passionately and physically attracted to each other, one may desire a longer-term relationship, while the other may be content to just stay physically.
Couples may also discover that they bring out the worst in each other. It doesn’t go well when two people overlook the rest of their relationship dynamics for the sake of a strong physical and sexually oriented bond. Cheating, violence, disrespect and other serious issues should never be ignored because of sex.
When two people are obsessed with each other and have an unusual sexual chemistry, they may struggle to break up, but they also know they can’t stay together. This type of relationship can quickly become toxic.
How Attachment Styles Affect Us
Experts suggest that falling in love with someone and having great sexual chemistry can sometimes be linked to past obsessions. Sometimes this can involve unconscious and unresolved family dynamics.
It is possible to be strongly attracted to people who remind you of your past, including unconscious and unresolved family dynamics. For example, you may be drawn to a partner who resembles a primary parent figure who does not meet the needs you hoped would be met. As a result, you may find yourself unconsciously trying to improve your relationship with your partner.
It is important to channel this with increased awareness, bold communication, great care and intent. It is possible to heal trauma from a past relationship through your current relationship, but it is also possible to repeat past trauma.
Sexual chemistry cannot protect you from someone’s childhood problems. Ideally, as we mature, the way we interact and behave in relationships reflect what is called a secure attachment style. This means that we are socially comfortable, trust others, have good self-esteem, and share our feelings with friends and family.
But experts warn that if a couple gets to the point of ignoring their friends and family while in a love bubble, it usually doesn’t end well. That is, most people do not come to the table with secure attachments and may not be immediately ready for a healthy and mature relationship.
For example, people with a fearful-avoidant attachment style may crave love and affection, but distrust others and are reluctant to form close relationships. This is often related to childhood trauma, these individuals have trouble trying to maintain healthy relationships.
Many people have a combination of avoidant or anxious attachment styles. If they still want to explore a relationship with that person, all they have to do is; slowing things down, moving at a more organic and less intense pace.
The good news is that those with insecure attachment styles can develop a more secure attachment style under the supervision and direction of an expert. Developing a secure attachment style is possible, but it takes time, care, intention, effort, and healing of relationship trauma in relationships with yourself and others.
Attachment styles can develop over time, and people with all attachment styles may be in relationships with people with different attachment styles. This can happen through awareness, communication, intention, and openness, willingness and commitment to healing, change, doing things differently, and growing.
When Sexual Chemistry Decreases
Sexual chemistry can fuel a relationship and eventually lead to intimacy. Physical attraction can help people develop a deeper emotional connection later on.
What happens when sexual chemistry declines? When the glow of passion and attraction fades, couples are tested when they see the other’s quirks and flaws in the bright light of awareness.
At this point, they can decide whether the foundation of the relationship is purely physical and not taking them any further. Or do they want to continue on the path to get to know the other better and perhaps eventually stay together?
Of course, the stressors of daily life and lack of time can negatively affect the sex lives of people who have been dating or have been together for a while. Job difficulties, financial pressures and the birth of children can affect couples’ carefree sex lives in the past.
But when couples overcome the barriers that come as a result of getting to know each other and living together, they find that feelings of closeness, respect and love for one another have already developed. They can continue to have a satisfying relationship without giving up on their sexual selves. Sexual chemistry remains an important component that keeps a relationship alive and developing.
The Role of Proximity
Intimacy can be defined as a physical, mental and emotional closeness. Intimacy and sex can go hand in hand. Sharing and experiencing intimacy in a relationship can lead to feelings such as:
• Openness to communication
• Security bug
• Comfort and support in sharing with honesty
• Being well-groomed
• Hear respect
Feelings of closeness enhance a relationship. By increasing the time they spend together as a couple, turning off electronic devices, being fully together with each other, and communicating with openness, vulnerability, and honesty, people can create a greater sense of emotional intimacy to improve their relationships and marriages.
Sexual chemistry can lead to a mature and loving relationship. You can be sure that mature, sincere and loving relationships reflect two connected people.
Oxytocin is produced in the hypothalamus, the neurotransmitter that helps you feel empathy, connectedness, and truly connect with each other. Oxytocin has been called the hug hormone and is sometimes referred to as the love hormone. During parent-infant bonding, when longtime friends talk and spouses embrace affectionately, oxytocin plays a large and undeniable role in creating and maintaining close loving relationships.
While sexual chemistry can be a passionate and almost exuberant feeling, it can sometimes cloud your judgment when looking for a partner or create a false sense of intimacy. If you have trouble figuring out whether your desire for another person is lust or love, a therapist can help you understand and resolve your feelings.