For the person who has platonic love; In life, only the person he loves can make himself happy, everything is fine with him, without him, life has no meaning. When a person does not receive a response to his feelings, he becomes pessimistic and tends to become depressed. If this obsession is at an advanced level, he will take destructive actions such as following the person he loves, harming, harassment, rape, etc. to harm his platonic love; Self-destructive actions such as harming oneself, using alcohol and drugs to alleviate the pain, committing suicide can also be seen.
“Is the person actually in love with the person he cannot meet, or is the meaning attributed to that person too much?”. The answer to this question is very important, what is the meaning that a person attributes to love and what is his expectation about love. Because the person who has platonic love is in love with his dreams. He loads the person he has created in his dreams onto the body, and believes that he is as he imagined it, so he believes what he wants to see or believe, not what is actually happening. After a while, the lack of reciprocation of his feelings drives the person to despair.
While some platonic beginning loves may turn into true love, some people may leave it at the platonic love level instead of turning it into true love. There are many reasons for this.
The reasons that prevent the person with platonic love from taking a step
- The love that he has dreamed of does not come true
- Anxiety about getting a rejection from the person
- That the person will not like himself and think that he will criticize
According to Specialist Clinical Psychologist Merve Kırna, personal predispositions and character structure are the determinants of platonic love. In this sense, some personality structures, infancy or childhood traumas or insecurity increase the possibility of developing platonic love.
People who are prone to platonic love
- People who cannot receive enough attention and love from their caregivers during infancy and childhood and cannot form a secure bond
- Childhood traumas
- Those who think they have a physical deficiency
- Those who have feelings of inadequacy
- Those who have difficulty in establishing social relationships
- Dependent people
When to get help?
- If the person’s harmony with the real world has started to deteriorate
- If the person who cannot get their feelings back develops anger, anger and obsession