Marriage is a bond that will last two people “until death do them part”. For many people, this is perhaps the most exciting and most anticipated phase of life, while for others it is very different. Even to the person they love very much , making a promise of loyalty forever can be scary for some. It can even turn into a phobia. Gamophobia , known as the senseless fear of marriage , does not prevent people from establishing relationships or falling in love, but things change when it comes to marriage. Of course, the only right thing to do in a situation that has reached the level of phobia is to get psychological support. However, there may be fear of marriage based on logical reasons in itself, and it is much easier to solve the situation at this point. Here are the reasons that keep us away from marriage…
Fear of divorce
We all know that divorce rates are daily is increasing day by day. According to the data of the Turkish Statistical Institute, the number of people officially divorced in 2015 is 131830, and 39 percent of these divorces take place in the first 5 years of marriage . It is not possible not to be afraid of marriage when we hear about divorce news and stories of marriage that did not work out. Seeing that marriages that started with many dreams are destroyed so quickly affects many people’s view of marriage negatively. The thought of “if this is how we end up” can lead to fear of marriage. After all, no one wants to go through a painful process like divorce. But if you want to spend a lifetime with the person you love and trust your relationship, maybe this is a risk you should take.
Fearing the end of love
We are so familiar with the saying “Marriage kills love” that the idea of a loving marriage feels like a miracle. It is generally thought that marriage should be based on love, respect and logic rather than love. Of course, these are also very true, but if what you are looking for is love and passion, this thought can scare you from marriage. Your fears that everything will become routine when you get married, that love and passion will run out, or that you will have a boring relationship come together and turn marriage into a nightmare for you.
If you are afraid of marriage despite having someone you love, trust and enjoy spending time with, it may be because you don’t trust yourself. One of the main reasons for fear of marriage is to think that, based on previous experiences, it will ruin the relationship , cheat or get tired of the relationship. Although generally not wanting to get married is associated with not finding the right person, most of the time the main reason is that the person who is afraid of marriage is not the right person . The reason for this situation may be problems that will take time to overcome, such as bad experiences in the past or fear of attachment.
An unhappy marriage in the family
Children who grew up in a loveless family are more likely to fear marriage in their later years. Seeing constant arguments, fights and disagreements in the family may cause you to think that the marriage continues like this. Even if you have a good relationship, you may think that when you get married, it will break down and you will turn into a constantly fighting couple, just like your parents. Most of the time, the institution of marriage is held responsible for the problems experienced by the parents, and you identify marriage with unhappiness based on your own family.
Everyone fears the unknown, the stranger. No matter what you hear from your environment, no matter how many examples you see, marriage is also an unknown for you . A big step where you will change your whole lifestyle and enter a whole new world. What does marriage look like? Will everything change? Will I be happy? Is it suitable for me? Of course, the questions come to the minds of everyone who is considering marriage. But for some people it means more. Thinking too much about all these unknowns also causes you to run away from marriage.