Ways to keep the marriage as fresh as the first day

Relationship wears out over time. But everyone wants to stay as fresh as the first day… Gottman Couples Therapist and Performance Improvement Specialist Psychologist Filiz Kaya gives the following tips to keep the marriage alive:

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  • Chat every night. Tell each other how you spent your day for at least 10-15 minutes. When no one is with you and looking at each other’s faces…
  • Touch each other. Hugging, holding hands, patting the back, massaging… Whatever it is: all forms of touch, regardless of sexuality, strengthen the relationship.
  • Do not leave the house without learning at least 1 different thing to do during the day. Have an important dinner or meeting? Or will he meet his friends?
  • When saying “goodbye” to each other in the morning, be sure to give each other a long kiss.
  • Ask yourself the question “What is he doing right now” with curiosity and a smile at least once a day. Show that you’re thinking of him. An unexpected call or a surprise note…
  • Eat at least one meal together. It doesn’t have to be a romantic dinner in private. As long as you have one meal together.
  • Think of a trait in or in your relationship that you love very much. Something you admire in your partner? A feature you love?
  • Say “thank you” for at least one little thing…

EVERY week

  • At least once a week Make sure you appreciate it. “I love that…” “I really like this feature…” “Do you remember what you did that day… how happy I was…”
  • Do something unpleasant but must be done together from start to finish. Should you clean up, wash the dishes, cook, fix something, or shop? Having fun…
  • Go anywhere alone. Not because it has to be done, but because you want to do it… Cinema? Sunday breakfast? Or a coffee break? A good dinner? Walk? Whatever happens… Just for fun and for at least 1 hour…
  • And of course make time for each other. So, make sure she has her own special time. You can spend it as you wish. Seeing your friends or taking a long bath if you wish…
  • A happy sex life, however, comes with many other satisfactions related to the relationship. Aim for a sex life that both of you are satisfied with, without a week limit…

EVERY month

  • Her Make a plan that she will love and be very happy about. A whole day spent in accordance with a plan that was evidently made for him: it reminds everyone how precious he is.
  • Surprise, surprise, surprise… Offer at least 1 surprise. Be careful, it should be a surprise for him, not you.
  • Talk about current troubles in both of your lives. Talk about any trouble, problem, any situation that worries him or her in business life, family life or in the circle of friends. And be careful: never, ever, “look through the eyes of the enemy!”
  • If possible, spend a weekend alone, away from children and close people. It doesn’t matter where you are or how you passed.

EVERY year

Update the basics you know about him and yourself: What are his dreams for the near/distant future?

  • About your relationship
  • About your family
  • About your job
  • About your friends
  • About the house you live in
  • … (
  • 1) )


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