Happy marriage; it is not a chance; It is a product of effort, effort, patience, self-sacrifice, compromise, agreement and caring, love, respect and trust. The secret to a happy and good marriage can be complicated like a medicine mix.
A little love, respect, trust, some compromises and sacrifices that spouses must make, some emotional stability and support, a little recognition of the partner’s need to give and receive, and a little financial security are the universal secrets of the mix that makes up the happy marriage medicine.
SECRETS OF HAPPINESS
Remember, there is no easy and quick way to happiness in a marriage, but there is a slow and rough road to it. In this way, 3 important elements should be considered: (1) love, affection, being looked at, (2) being liked, approved, admired, and (3) being desired. These 3 elements must interact with each other and in a proper balance. In order to achieve this balance, listen to my words:
1- “Accept your partner as he is and don’t try to change him…”
2- “What is my share in every trouble experienced? focus on the question and try to change the behaviors that you find faulty in yourself, that is, take responsibility instead of blaming…”
3- “Choose to be happy instead of being right…”
4- “Love and accept your partner unconditionally. Don’t expect a response for change, change yourself with patience and faith, without saying “I changed this, you change that”. Because people have very little power to change their partners, but so much power to change themselves…”
MARRIAGE IS NOT AN INSTITUTION THAT CAN BE MANAGED AT LEFT TIMES
The secrets of happy marriages may differ for everyone, for each society, but there are some “good-bye rules” that fit all relationships around the world. For example, love, respect, trust, intimacy, privacy and sexuality are very important elements that keep the spouses together and maintain the marriage. Most people think that love is a feeling, whereas love is a form of presence rather than a feeling. For this reason, the important thing is not to find the ideal partner, but to be a more loving and realistic person. mature love; It may rise on “spouses offering attention, acceptance, appreciation, compassion”, “empathy” and “freedom to be themselves”. When these are provided, marriage; It can turn into a sacred relationship, not an arena where childhood wounds bleed, but can be salvaged for these wounds. For this reason, marriage is a very important institution, it is not an institution that can be managed in the spare time.
CORRECT COMMUNICATION CONDITION
There are some “basic communication skills” to keep the marriage going, these are things that can be learned later. Communication; To listen with understanding even if you do not agree, to share thoughts and feelings without blaming, to put the other party in the place of a man sincerely and honestly, to respect their ideas and preferences. It may take time to acquire such a communication skill, but people from all educational levels can learn these skills and improve themselves.
PSYCHOTHERAPIST CEM KEÇE