One of the most emphasized issues in relationships is cheating and infidelity. The reason for this situation, which causes the relationship to be shaken deeply, occurs for men and women for completely different reasons. Experts say that cheating occurs when marital satisfaction is low, and that men cheat sexually and women emotionally. So why do men and women cheat? Here is the answer to this important question, which is the most discussed and whose answer is not fully known, Psychiatrist Dr. Mahir Yesildal told me.
‘We fear relationships that seem to be going well’
Infidelity or cheating is more common in relationships with low marital satisfaction. Sometimes we are more afraid of relationships that seem to be going very well, that is, in which there are no arguments, no problems at home. Because this is against the flow of life. People argue. Spouses may quarrel over the salt, and all this is perfectly normal. If it is not spoken, we think that one of the parties prefers not to speak or is too afraid or afraid to speak.
There are 4 different ways of cheating
Kurt Lewin talks about 4 different forms of cheating in a study he did. ‘falling in love with someone else’, ‘having sex with someone else’, ‘managing someone else’ and ‘imagining someone else while being sexually with their partner’. In other words, Kurt Lewin states that imagining someone else is also a form of deception and infidelity.
“People who are happy with their marriage are 8 times less likely to cheat”
Noting that marriages are actually divided into types such as ‘I am satisfied with my marriage’, ‘I am very satisfied’, ‘Many things are going well’, Yeşildal continued as follows: Those who are very satisfied with their marriage are 8 times less likely to cheat than those who are less satisfied. The higher the marital satisfaction, the lower the rate of infidelity.
Women are emotional, men cheat sexually
When women cheat, they often form an emotional bond with another man. So they fall in love with someone else. In general, this is how women cheat. This is partly related to their marriage because according to studies, women are happier when they are emotionally satisfied in their marriage. Men, on the other hand, cheat more sexually. In other words, they have sexual relations that do not carry much emotional meaning, sometimes for one night, and sometimes for many years. On the contrary, there is something like this; Women often fear being cheated on emotionally. In other words, a woman who learns that her husband is cheating on her can pursue whether she is emotionally in love with him, whether she loves him or not. Men, on the other hand, are very afraid of their wives cheating on them sexually. In other words, it is more important for a man that his wife is sexually together rather than falling in love with another man or sharing something emotional with him. This is an interesting paradox.
”It is possible to cheat by dreaming”
Being cheated on is also possible with the imaginary spouse, that is, when imagining someone else. Therefore, it may well be the case through social media. Even if you have never been physically together with the other party, male or female; Correspondence with someone, sharing your problems with someone, and later feeling something emotional towards that person are also considered as cheating.
Do women cheat more than men?
In fact, men seem to cheat more. Social acceptances are somewhat similar. What men do is normalized in society and it is thought that men cheat more. In fact, it is not. Especially in recent years, women’s economic freedom has also increased their self-confidence, and according to a study conducted on couples under the age of 40, the rates of cheating on their spouses for men and women are now very close to each other.